maandag 25 april 2011
Paraesthesia or Saying So Doesn't Make It So (Krafft-Ebing)
What is it that makes me different than Tracey Emin? What is it that is preventing me from working? Constant panic, subtle, like a low flame on a stove-top, flaring up sometimes...I am some of the time an idiot and have wounded narcissism. I am researching the connections between psychoanalysis / psychology / psychotherapies and artistic practice. Wasn't it that unsavory Joseph Kosuth that said art after psychology was different forever? I must have this wrong because I can't find it Googling anywhere on internet except in my own texts. It is clear where I differ from Sean Landers for me, and even Elke Krystufek, but Tracey has been extremely influential on my work and thought, for many years now, and right now I am having trouble distinguishing myself and my work from her and her work. It's all tied up together.
vrijdag 22 april 2011
Unsolicited Intimidation
It's super hot today and in between smoking a cigarette I am going to do my first blog entry. A follow up to Profeminist WHITE FLOWERS and because I think more needs to be said about artistic depression on internet.
For / dedicated to Marjanne van Helvert, Rietveld Academie, Amsterdam:
http://studiumgenerale.gerritrietveldacademie.nl/cms/index-frames.php?url=/cms/index.php%3Fid%3D3195
I really appreciate this mention, because I also agree with it. What I disagree with is that what I am doing is not valid--if the implication is there at all. Activism has many forms, and what looks like activism obviously on the surface is not always extremely effective. But actually I know little about this from the front lines, so I will reserve judgement. What I do think is that it is hard and challenging to take up a personal position of emotion and feeling and bring that into public. Why are more people not doing this? It cannot be because I am so overtly narcissistic, because that is not only our culture that is the way that most people operate, period. Survival is what is being asked about, the worth of one individual life. What makes my life worth more than your life? What makes your life worth more than my life? I am double or triple or quadruple handicapped / challenged. Not fitting into the gay male world, of Terence Koh, Michael Elmgreen and Ingar Dragset, Henrik Olesen, Karl Holmqvist, Danh Vo, Simon Fujiwara, William E. Jones, Slava Mogutin, Brian Kenny, Scott Hug, Nick Mauss, Ken Okiishi, Knut Asdam, Matts Leiderstam, Wolfgang Tillmans, BUTT magazine's entire production, lets see who else? Anyone who was in the Nordic Pavillion at the Venice Biennale last time, and then there's curators like Frank Wagner and Bill Arning, and Hans Ulrich Obrist (not queer) and K8 Hardy (who my jury is still out on) and a host of others I am probably forgetting.
Why can't I disagree and make it Paul Thek-ian? I can, it's just that almost no one cares.
Almost no one cares what I have to say, and that I am in personal relationships with people like Carolee Schneemann who I draw inspiration from. Apparently what is old fashioned is actually taking up a position and making yourself accessible. Disagreement, dragging one's feet. Having something to respond to. An audience. A target. A dialogue even.
It is just hard being me, and that is okay to say. Narcissism has two sides, the insufficient self and the idealized self, and to be fair this is what I started my presentation at the Rietveld Academie with. I have no idea in ways why I was asked to lead a class, and strange things came out of it. I do think that Gabrielle Schleijpen realizes that I have something unusual and even powerful to say, and I can only guess that she felt that that would become apparent to students if I taught a class in theory. Good on her I say. Thank you again.
But the "I matter" message does hold currency, it is important. I am difficult. I am smart and stupid at the same time, well meaning, and contradictory and political and resilient etc.
http://www.luxonline.org.uk/artists/catherine_elwes/index.html
She is extremely articulate and I appreciate this. Words and language are crucial. I know I am privileged living in the West. How could I not know that? I have done more reading on Post Colonial theory than may at first be apparent. I have firsthand knowledge and acquaintence of women of color who were my age in the 1970's, a dialogue with them etc. Why is it that when entertainment or the entertainment factor is erased from the equation then people start yelling narcissism. I am exposing what is underneath. What is underneath for all of us. We really can be what we want to be. We have some measure of self determination in every position imaginable as human beings, and I would like to talk more about this. I think affirmation and courage giving are important. And psychology and art. Right now I am reading two books by Juliet Mitchell, "Psychoanalysis and Feminism: A Radical Reassessment of Freudian Psychoanalysis" and
"Feminine Sexuality: Jacques Lacan and the Ecole Freudienne". 1974 and 1982 respectively.
I honestly really feel that I do the best I can as a person, because I can't help thinking of activist leaders who were assholes in their private life, and not only activist leaders (artists, scientists, etc. etc.). This is what I want to deal with. One on one interpersonal behaviour. I really care about my work. It is super serious and super playful at the same time. It is art.
I am aware of where I am not. I am aware that there are those aware of me and where I am not. I am aware that I engender abuse and blunt critique from various sources and angles. I am aware that I will not be popular, but I never have been so this is in itself okay.
I took down my jeans at the Rietveld to show my penis to connect a physical gender and genital to a theoretical approach. I do what I miss--looking and finding holes in the art and philosophy and theory and poetry etc. worlds I add where I can and whenever I can.
It may not look smart but it is.
I began my lecture with the narcissistic pyramid of Otto Kernberg. I am aware of what I am doing, and want to discuss issues of intimacy and love and anti-media and anti-entertainment more and more. Anti-mass media I mean. Actually it's good all those things are there, we are two sides of the same coins BUT YOU NEED ME TOO. Both / And rather than Either / Or.
I want to make myself personally available and there have been people who have appreciated this. I am a male ditz in a way, but one smart cookie in another. My work is extremely experimental and that is the way that I like it. I wish I saw more experimental work going on these days...risky, difficult, obstinate, contentious, confrontational, tough, bold, fierce.
For / dedicated to Marjanne van Helvert, Rietveld Academie, Amsterdam:
http://studiumgenerale.gerritrietveldacademie.nl/cms/index-frames.php?url=/cms/index.php%3Fid%3D3195
I really appreciate this mention, because I also agree with it. What I disagree with is that what I am doing is not valid--if the implication is there at all. Activism has many forms, and what looks like activism obviously on the surface is not always extremely effective. But actually I know little about this from the front lines, so I will reserve judgement. What I do think is that it is hard and challenging to take up a personal position of emotion and feeling and bring that into public. Why are more people not doing this? It cannot be because I am so overtly narcissistic, because that is not only our culture that is the way that most people operate, period. Survival is what is being asked about, the worth of one individual life. What makes my life worth more than your life? What makes your life worth more than my life? I am double or triple or quadruple handicapped / challenged. Not fitting into the gay male world, of Terence Koh, Michael Elmgreen and Ingar Dragset, Henrik Olesen, Karl Holmqvist, Danh Vo, Simon Fujiwara, William E. Jones, Slava Mogutin, Brian Kenny, Scott Hug, Nick Mauss, Ken Okiishi, Knut Asdam, Matts Leiderstam, Wolfgang Tillmans, BUTT magazine's entire production, lets see who else? Anyone who was in the Nordic Pavillion at the Venice Biennale last time, and then there's curators like Frank Wagner and Bill Arning, and Hans Ulrich Obrist (not queer) and K8 Hardy (who my jury is still out on) and a host of others I am probably forgetting.
Why can't I disagree and make it Paul Thek-ian? I can, it's just that almost no one cares.
Almost no one cares what I have to say, and that I am in personal relationships with people like Carolee Schneemann who I draw inspiration from. Apparently what is old fashioned is actually taking up a position and making yourself accessible. Disagreement, dragging one's feet. Having something to respond to. An audience. A target. A dialogue even.
It is just hard being me, and that is okay to say. Narcissism has two sides, the insufficient self and the idealized self, and to be fair this is what I started my presentation at the Rietveld Academie with. I have no idea in ways why I was asked to lead a class, and strange things came out of it. I do think that Gabrielle Schleijpen realizes that I have something unusual and even powerful to say, and I can only guess that she felt that that would become apparent to students if I taught a class in theory. Good on her I say. Thank you again.
But the "I matter" message does hold currency, it is important. I am difficult. I am smart and stupid at the same time, well meaning, and contradictory and political and resilient etc.
http://www.luxonline.org.uk/artists/catherine_elwes/index.html
She is extremely articulate and I appreciate this. Words and language are crucial. I know I am privileged living in the West. How could I not know that? I have done more reading on Post Colonial theory than may at first be apparent. I have firsthand knowledge and acquaintence of women of color who were my age in the 1970's, a dialogue with them etc. Why is it that when entertainment or the entertainment factor is erased from the equation then people start yelling narcissism. I am exposing what is underneath. What is underneath for all of us. We really can be what we want to be. We have some measure of self determination in every position imaginable as human beings, and I would like to talk more about this. I think affirmation and courage giving are important. And psychology and art. Right now I am reading two books by Juliet Mitchell, "Psychoanalysis and Feminism: A Radical Reassessment of Freudian Psychoanalysis" and
"Feminine Sexuality: Jacques Lacan and the Ecole Freudienne". 1974 and 1982 respectively.
I honestly really feel that I do the best I can as a person, because I can't help thinking of activist leaders who were assholes in their private life, and not only activist leaders (artists, scientists, etc. etc.). This is what I want to deal with. One on one interpersonal behaviour. I really care about my work. It is super serious and super playful at the same time. It is art.
I am aware of where I am not. I am aware that there are those aware of me and where I am not. I am aware that I engender abuse and blunt critique from various sources and angles. I am aware that I will not be popular, but I never have been so this is in itself okay.
I took down my jeans at the Rietveld to show my penis to connect a physical gender and genital to a theoretical approach. I do what I miss--looking and finding holes in the art and philosophy and theory and poetry etc. worlds I add where I can and whenever I can.
It may not look smart but it is.
I began my lecture with the narcissistic pyramid of Otto Kernberg. I am aware of what I am doing, and want to discuss issues of intimacy and love and anti-media and anti-entertainment more and more. Anti-mass media I mean. Actually it's good all those things are there, we are two sides of the same coins BUT YOU NEED ME TOO. Both / And rather than Either / Or.
I want to make myself personally available and there have been people who have appreciated this. I am a male ditz in a way, but one smart cookie in another. My work is extremely experimental and that is the way that I like it. I wish I saw more experimental work going on these days...risky, difficult, obstinate, contentious, confrontational, tough, bold, fierce.
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